I feel empty... online

Online

I see you went online today... I checked my messages and threw all the trash away... No comment, no reply, Why? You blew me off again, it makes my head spin... Your too busy, that makes me dizzy! You didn't have time, I am not worth one line? I get the message, silence, loud and clear.. blasting in my ear! I just wanted you to know you were apart of my whole... All my soul has left is an empty hollow mess! I can not guess anymore why.. I feel so empty, but try not to cry! Another punch to the gut, how can I get out of this rut! I see you went online today... I need to throw you away!

Written by Jenny Mello

Life

 Living Free

In all situations, friendships and relationships. 

You have to grow, learn, communicate... If you don't express likes, loves, concerns, unhappiness, and things that get under your skin... then your fear of failure, fear of confrontation, lack of expression will take you to the land of heartache... 

You grow together or you grow apart!! Growing and going in different directions with no connections. Rubbed the wrong way, or you play. The feeling of being on edge or edgy. 

Accept yourself, your life, you live with you, then you might be able to share your clues, of who is who. You have to be so confident about who and what you want and don't need acceptance! If someone doesn't fit, there is the door.. 

That is power and strength galore. Certain things hurt, are uncomfortable.. If the tables could turn everything could and would be possible.  

Follow your heart, soul and mind.. it will lead you to your answers of the divine. But if you don't it will never start.. this thing we live, Life!

Written by Jenny Mello

Come and Go

The Real Deal

 

People come and go in my world all the time, day after day. Why would I have thought differently about you? Things constantly change, some for better some for worse. I am sad when I remember what was.. I wish you understood, but it's mine to fix,  if I could, I know I can. It's just the way it is, some are bad and some are good. Maybe you can take a walk in my shoes, see things I see, feel things how I feel.. it might explain, like walking in the rain. Words are more powerful then feelings, I accept my feelings are hard. I can't control the way you feel, or where you go, You ask for forgiveness, you ask me to let go. Letting you go is just as hard as loving you here, millions of tears. I don't need sorry or feelings explain, it's easier to just blame! One last thing on how I feel, I feel like steel. No more guessing trying to appeal. I'll just wait for the real deal.

Written By Jenny Mello

Honest, Honestly

Twist of the heart

How can I take your twist of words as honesty? The actions just can't explain. What little friendship we share, it hangs on by a hair. I don't fit in your life! I'm not talking weekends or a quick fling, we were such a great thing. I accept reality, it's so blunt not to see. Why do you deny what you want in me? I acknowledge wants! Honestly, I care for honesty, why can't you be here or at least near. If you had the chance, would you say.. What's on your mind, are you keeping it at bay? You think it's easier that way. That's a problem, you think, don't feel? Excuse me, you came into my life, it was like food with spice. You think your trying, I only find out through spying. You act like such the deprived victim. Instead you deprive your victim. The best expression of feelings, physically vs mentally. Gotta want, Gotta have and Gotta enjoy, apparently you don't see what a gift it is to agree! I don't want to argue, I just throw out what I see, what's been told to me. Accept life for face value, I am your reminder of your thoughts and wish you sought. Be honest, honestly! You'd be ecstatic if you'd take your ghosts out of the attic. You'd be surprised how much my words are wise. A relationship should not cost as it has no value.  Money is useless when it comes to the heart, it will tear it apart. You've never gone with nothing always having something, so empty inside to fill with your lies. I realize your appeasing me by listening.. So therefor I will go, I really want you to know, now is the time to be honest, honestly!

Written by Jenny Mello

Sorry I missed your call...

Useless! 

How many times are you going to tell me the excuses that make me feel useless.... The phone was dead! Don't worry your head! I didn't hear it! Like those are suppose to lift my spirit..Oh how my feelings go off.. I didn't feel it! this crappy phone is broke! I forgot to press send! oops same excuses again.. I feel crappy I even tried to send, to see if you can make amends.. I left it home! I left it in the car! I forgot you called! I am sorry, I really am! Like that is the magic which makes them all forgiven.. Amazing what a missed call can create.. The feelings that this little phone takes.. How does it rule my heart and soul, that text or call that's not ample, hours of wait, days of debate.. Amazing what a missed text creates.. The control it takes, not to send, resend again! Over and over again.. How many times are you going to make excuses, when it is you who are useless!!

Written by Jenny Mello